What God Has Done

This page is going to be dedicated to the part of me who is connected to the God of the Universe-El Elyon.  I came to know him in a real and personal way when I accepted His Son, Jesus as my Lord and Savior and gave Him control of my life almost 40 years ago.  It wasn't until then that my life had some meaning and started to go in the right direction.  I am so grateful for His love for me as it was the first time that I knew a father's love. I chose the road less traveled and it has made all the difference.

I am going to post some writing etc. on this page-it will be more of a "What God did Today" journal.  You are welcome to join me on the journey or stop in for peek.

May 12, 2015

An epiphany.  It happened at 1am two nights ago.  My peace has fled like Bertha out the kitty door.  I am stressed to the point that I can not sleep.  I started quilting again 2 years before retirement as I knew I would soon have the time to do it.  I retired and for one full year I did not work outside of our home-at all.  Life was good.  I then started subbing to supplement my expensive hobby and over the years have quilted more and worked more and then stared teaching a few quilt classes and the plates started spinning.  I just had to cancel a quilting retreat to free up some time in my schedule.  My life is out of balance. 

This realization started a couple of weeks ago when I was trying to fit someone into my schedule to do prayer ministry with.  I couldn't get her in for a whole month-this is someone who needs help and needs it now and I couldn't fit her into my schedule. Wow.  How did I get here?

Thankfully I am heading off to a yearly retreat to Julian with two good friends next week.  We stay in our RV's until 4pm in the afternoon when we meet and fellowship and go to dinner.  It gives me 3 whole days to pray, study God's word, read and of course, quilt. God always meets me there as I am seeking His face earnestly.  I can't hear Him at home because the sound of the hurricane that has become my life, drowns out that still, small voice.

At the same time-and I don't believe in coincidence-the arthritis in my neck is really much worse in the last few months and sewing for long periods of time is painful. Hmmm.  Wonder what He is going to speak to my heart.

June 3, 2014

God always meets me when I call to him.  Greg and I are contemplating a move to Seattle to be close to our son and daughter-in-law and our beautiful grandgirls.  This consideration has stirred up some angst in my husband which floats on the surface of his normally calm countenance like the stuff on a boiling pot of chicken carcass.  It has not been pretty.  It has stirred up discontentment in me that is equally vile.  So, I took my vile attitude to Julian to sew, read, study God's word and pray for 3 days last week.  The Lord led me to 1st Peter and I settled in and studied the whole book.  Rats! If I had known that submission was submerged in 1 Peter I would have chosen something else entirely.

Submission is an ugly word in our day of women's liberation and autonomy but everyone is submissive to someone, either boss or manager, or creditors or time etc.  However, the idea of being submissive to one's own husband brings up visions of cavemen and clubs.  Jesus, even though He was God incarnate, was submissive to death for my sins.  I surely can be submissive to my sweet husband in this matter that is causing him so much turmoil.  So I came home and told him I was going to step back a few paces.  I am still going to cull, sell and pack, but I will do it quietly and not so in his face which is putting undue pressure on him.

This move, if we make it, will be the hardest thing we have ever done.  Our roots grow deep in San Diego.  We love our church body, our home, neighbors, friends, ushering at Lamb's players, weather, etc.  For Greg who hates change, it will be much harder than for me who is longing to live near my grandgirls.  I am trusting Jesus to direct Greg and cause him to want to live near them too or to make me content in where I am.  At the women's retreat for our church (I went from Julian to home for a shower and then to Temecula for the retreat) I received a verse that confirmed what I read in 1 Peter. Isaiah 1:19 says: If you are willing and obedient you shall eat the good of the land".  Of course I took it to mean if I am submissive to Greg, I will be able to move to Seattle.  However, I think the reality is, if I am obedient, I will be content where ever I am.  Win Win.

January 19, 2014

We took a "random" trip to Medford over Thanksgiving.  We had renters who were moving out and we wanted to see our "darling 1927 romantic cottage" with an eye to move in.   Well, God has a sense of humor.  We made arrangements with the young man who remained in our home to tour the premises.  We still remembered the pristine  condition that the last renter had kept it in.  What a shock we were in for.  From the overflowing ashtray and empty beer cans on the porch that flowed through the house like water following the course of a gutter.  Filth, garbage, mattress strewn basement-disgusting!  The young man was ashamed to show us his room he said-the horrors could only be guessed.

Romantic vision of moving into a darling old home on a tree lined street-smashed into the concrete like a fat bug on a windshield-splat!  We needed that wake up call.  A couple of weeks later-after extricating the now unwanted boarder from his cave of a bedroom-the pipes burst and the house flooded.  Oh, my.

My favorite verse is "The end is better than the beginning and it really always is.  We kept our cool-called the insurance company and started the renovation process.  greg is leaving today to oversee the start of the work.  So far it looks like we will not lose any income and that the 2 bedrooms, bathroom and hall on the main floor will all get new drywall and paint-that is 1/4 of the house-thank-you Jesus.  The carpets will be cleaned and relaid at this point.  While the walls are down, Greg will get an electrician to redo the wiring.

The destruction also allowed us some good discussion fodder to examine our needs.  The process took us to the unthinkable last year.   I have always wanted to move to Seattle-not Medford.  Medford was my compromise.  Seattle is the home of our only child, his wonderful wife, and our darling grandgirls-8 hours from Medford.  Medford is lovely and the home of 4 of our best friends-but still 8 hours from our grandkids. Greg said he decided to move to Seattle so that he wouldn't have to move twice.    I held my breath not believing it could be true-but I heard him tell his cousin, his sister and the neighbor-it must be true!

God never ceases to amaze me.  he knows the innermost yearnings of our heart and sometimes-right out of the blue-he grants them-even if he has to demolish a dream (old house) that is in the way of the "New Thing" He is doing.

PS a Tom update.  Tom is recovering from the throat cancer.  Right now-cancer free-Thank-you, Lord

November 18,2013

As we approach Thanksgiving I am mindful of all that I have to be thankful for.  Two darling granddaughters who are the joy of my life, a wonderful son and daughter in law who love us and make time for us and treat us so royally when we visit, and a handsome husband who still loves me after 44 years.  I have friends who are closer than sisters to me and who have put up with me for years and who love me in spite of my foibles.  God has blessed us with a home, a few motor vehicles, clothes, food and enabled us to pursue our individual hobbies.  We are both in relatively good health after Greg's heart transplant 5 years ago this month.  We live in a country that allows us to worship God and in which we are still free-mostly.

We have a friend, John, whom we have prayed for and is currently cancer free.  My DIL"s brother, Tom's tumor has disappeared-also prayed for and a prayer quilt delivered.  We are so very blessed and really so undeserving of all of it.  Thank-you, my Lord and my God for giving us your good favor and loving us so lavishly.

August 1, 2013

Sadly, my daughter-in-law's brother, Tom, was diagnosed with throat cancer this week and had a biopsy yesterday.  We will find out the results Tuesday.  Several things came out of a very scary time.  I got to talk to Tom who I have known only in a surface way over the last 7 years but because of the possibility of cancer-we got to really know one another beneath the surface.  I am a 2 time cancer survivor and I am hoping that sharing that with him gave him hope.  Tom knows Jesus as his savior and the walk he is about to take will increase his faith if he can keep from giving in to his fear-and cancer is scary.

I also got to share the love of Jesus with Kathy who is the oldest of the 4 siblings and feels responsible for all of them.  She just lost her mom a year ago and her dad in the last couple of months-it has been a devastating year.  I think she is close to having a real relationship with The Lord.

I love Regan and her family and it is so hard to see them in pain.  Jesus doesn't take the sad things away but when we go through those tough times, I know He is right there with me and I know that the outcome will be for my good.  God is doing a work in this family-I am hoping my son sees it.
July 1, 2013

Jehovah-jireh- The Lord will provide.  Thought about this the other day and since this page is titled "What God has done" thought I would start listing the things I know have been His making.

Years ago my mom bought us a Foodsaver system.  They were new on the market so I had no idea the cost.  We had it for a couple of years and I didn't use it so we sold it in a garage sale for 10.00.  Fast forward 20 years and I really would like one-and bought one for our kids for Christmas last year but they are a little too pricey for us on our retirement income.  God, however, knows my heart.  Just as I was leaving the mobile home park after dropping off a friend, I happened to see a Foodsaver on a bench where things not wanted are put for others to pick up.  All it needed was a little cleaning. Amazing

In April when we went to Seattle for Ava's 3rd birthday, we stayed with an Evergreen couple that we hadn't stayed with before. Before we left she handed me a box of software for my computer that will help me do things on my embroidery machine that I can't do right now.  It was 2,000.00 dollars worth of digitizing software that I would never have been able to afford.  I paid 300.00 to get it registered in my name and updated-only God knew I wanted that.  The lady didn't even know what it was-she thinks her husband picked it up at a garage sale.  God knows our hearts and desires before we ever speak them.  For me it was confirmation that my desire to write scriptures on quilts and get them into shows is a worthy desire-God's word never returns void-never.

Lastly-for today.  My husband did not want to leave San Diego-ever.  I have been begging, trying to make him feel guilty, manipulating, and doing any and everything in my power to convince him to move.  When I gave up trying at the beginning of June, and laid my wants on the alter and started praying that God would change his heart-he did.  I overheard him telling the gardener that he was excited to move to Medford-wow-excited?  He also is now realizing that selling would be a good thing to do.  A few weeks ago he was adamant that he would not sell so that we could come back if we wanted to.  He now realizes that California has become too expensive and that closer access to our kids and grands is important and he is willing to sell. Jehovah jireh-The Lord will provide.


I was thinking about how much fun I had yesterday in my studio-playing with fabrics.  When I changed the pattern from pieced to applique, everything opened up.  I couldn't get started because I wasn't sure the piecing would give the effect I wanted.  As soon as I removed the rules and just absorbed myself in what I loved-I loved it even more.

When I was young in my teens, I went to a church that was built upon rules and regulations: you had to take communion every week, you couldn't have instruments in church, you had to be in church every week or someone would call or show up on your doorstep, you had to confess your sins in front of the congregation, you couldn't remarry if you were divorced (so, my mom never remarried after she and my philandering father divorced) and you couldn't have a Christmas tree (unless you went to the same denomination in another state where they had one in the sanctuary).Rules, rules, rules that had little to do with Jesus Christ.  I knew my Bible as a kid and could feel the fires of hell-but I never knew that Jesus loved me personally.

When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and submitted my will to Him as Adonai, I felt as light as a butterfly.  The weight of the rules and the guilt of my breaking them was lifted.  When I live in God's grace time flies and I can spend hours in Bible study-just because I want to be closer to Jesus.  When I make it a rule to follow, I get bogged down and like the piecing, I am stumbled.

I am not advocating throwing out rules, I am advocating a love relationship with Jesus-love covers a multitude of sins.  I don't want to sin because I don't want to hurt my Daddy's heart not because I have broken a rule.  I have a respect for God and his commandments and now want to follow and obey him out of love for Him-not because I don't want someone showing up on my doorstep. Adonai: Lord to be worshiped.

I am reading, "Lord, I Want to Know You" by Kay Arthur as my devotional in the morning.  It is so good! So far she has talked about God as creator: Elohim, God most high: El Elyon, and the God who sees: El Roi.

If God sees everything, then we can be entirely honest with Him. That is so amazing to me.  I know what my heart is capable of and so does God and He loves me anyway, without reservation.  About 3 years ago, someone at my work hurt me so deeply I turned bitter.  My thoughts were awful regarding this person.  The only way I could crawl up out of the pit of self pity was to be honest with God about my feelings-He already knew them, it was I who was trying to make them seem less sinful than they were.  If the stab she gave me were justified, I could have understood it, but I had truly loved her, supported her, cared about her success-it was so very unfair.  I had to come to grips with the fact that I needed to love her in spite of the hurt she had inflicted.  I needed to want her best interests and not mine in spite of my feelings of unfairness.  I started to pray blessings on her life.  Every time a negative thought came my way, I asked God to bless her.

Eventually, God dragged me out of the pit and put my foot on a firm foundation of His love (I knew I had none of my own).  I was released from the bondage of resentment and self-pity and when I think of her, I can actually smile-won't necessarily be a close friend because I don't trust her-but that is just wise, not sinful.  God turned one of the hardest times in my life into something good.  He taught me so many lessons during that year-things i would never have learned had I not gone through the fire.  I am ashamed to say I didn't always act Christlike during the process but He had His way in the end and I wouldn't exchange the experience for anything.

I have made prayer quilts with the names of God embroidered on them-I would like to make regular quilts with His name incorporated into them because His name alone is so powerful. El Roi:  God sees.

1 comment:

Eutychus said...

I am blessed by your transparency and how God is guiding you. It reminds me of the roses that line your sidewalk; beauty at eye level, thorns to keep us on the correct path. You are beloved. Jan